20 Lessons Learned in 2020, For Your Divorce, Or For Life In General

1) Even if you never imagined it could happen, it can. Expect the unexpected- always.

2) Toilet paper can be a valuable asset- I have never fought over this one in divorce court, but it is looking like a strong future possibility.

3) Appreciate the little things, always. One day you will look back, and the little things are really the things that matter most.

4) Spend time with the ones you love- time is the one thing you can never get back, ever. If tomorrow never comes, your biggest regret will likely be having wasted precious time.

5) Find something to be grateful for every day; your children, your spouse, your home, your job... something. There is always something to be grateful for.

6) No matter how bad you think your life is, or how unfair you think things are, there is always someone worse off... always. Think about it.

7) Listen to the ones you trust... your lawyer, your parent, your preacher, your best friend. Sometimes you really do not know what is best for you. Sometimes an outside perspective is the BEST perspective.

8) Always take the high road, or always at least try to take the high road, even when you want to get into the dirt. Dirt is dirty. Dirt is ugly. Dirt is most often not worth the effort or energy it took you to dig it up.

9) Even when you hate someone, love them anyway. Love them despite what they did to you, or what you think they did to you. You will be better off for it.

10) When you think your spouse is the worst spouse, the worst parent, the worst human, remember you picked that person to be your forever partner. Just because you decide to throw in the towel, or even if your spouse is the one that threw in the towel, it does not mean he or she does not have some redeeming qualities. Everyone does. You just can’t see them right now, but remind yourself they must have been there at some point, or you would have never picked them in the first place.

11) Do not project your own issues and insecurities on others. Not on your spouse, not on your children. Focus on yourself and fix yourself first, and everything else will fall into place.

12) Always be kind. Even when you don’t want to. Kindness Is contagious. It is the one good thing I know that can spread like a virus, but has a positive result.

13) Learn to forgive. You do not have to forget, but work hard to forgive others. Forgiveness is freeing and healing,. Forgiving those who wronged you or hurt you in some way is the best thing you can do to mend yourself.

14) Life is full of disappointments. You will be disappointed. Over and over. It is part of your life experience. It sucks, but it is what it is. Disappointment builds character, and truly does make you stronger later, even when you feel like you are drowning in it.

15) The grass is not always greener on the other side. But sometimes it is. Don’t give up on what you have easily, and fight to keep what is yours, but when it is time to let go, let go. You can grown your own greener grass when you need to.

16) Be loyal to those around you. Loyalty is hard to come by. Cherish theose loyal to you. When you think the people who will always be loyal to you are disloyal, it will shock and hurt you. Be loyal anyway. It defines who you are.

17) Be happy. Find your own happiness. You are the driver of your own train through this crazy little thing callled life. Drive mightily, wisely and fiercely, and always keep your eyes on your destination.

18) Smile. If you see someone without a smile, give them yours. If they have on a mask, or if you do, smile anyway. Your smile will show through your eyes. Someone you pass along the way may really need it.

19) Be smart. Be cautious. Be skeptical. If your inner self says something is off, it probably is. Trust yourself!

20) Above all, be grateful. Have a grateful heart. Thank your Lord, your savior, your parents, whoever helped you become the person you are. You have greatness inside of you. Find it and let it show. Living with a grateful heart is the best gift you can give to yourself.

Cheers to an amazing 2021!